Day 18

Ah day 18...how do I feel today?

Well...after a good time at Soul...I found myself really thinking about bitterness, and if I have some of that stuff going down. Especially in regards to finances...money...etc.

I need to apologize...

1. To rich people or those who are well off. I often judge them, critique them and watch how and what they spend their money on.
Regardless of how Jesus spoke on wealth and riches...I am not the judge. Its just tiring to keep doing that.

2. To Christian's in general, who I think are being bad examples...and I have to remember...I am no different.

3. To the institution called the "church" for making it all about money sometimes.

I realize that I am no better than anyone. Heck...I have a long way to go...a very long way to go. This financial fast in a sense is causing me some heavy duty emotional and spiritual awakening...and showing me just how I used to cope with finances. "not very well"

This week was a hit hard week...with the gas bill, and the upcoming car bill, and as I was budgeting this week, realized that we needed to pay for our sign class...and so that is another hit. We are realizing that we need to tighten up, more than ever.

Today we did go out and splurge. We got a .75 cent coupon to go see a movie so we did...and yes we bought popcorn...and cried and laughed our way through the movie...Conversation with Bees. A great movie.

So we are doing okay...even with the big bills...that we can't afford to pay, we have to cry out to God...and that is something I need to do first...to bring it all to God in prayer...and pray. I sensed today, from something our pastor said...that just as we are fasting in regards to spending...that I may need to kick it up a notch and fast...and be in prayer way more than I am now. He challenged us with that in terms of how we relate to others, but I believe for every situation in our lives, this is what we need to do...God is...our Father...He does care...and...will take care of us.

So with that...I am off to pray, read and seek the Lord.

Thanks for your prayers...we appreciate them...especially for a much needed financial break through.