So you wanna be a rock star? Only if it gave me the opportunity to make a few extra bucks. Maybe this could be my part time job?
Day 13 was difficult for me. I am finding that I am fully in withdrawal mode...anxious, tired, a wee bit depressed. Withdrawals from anything, I am finding is something to think about.
Everything is permissible but not everything is profitable. That I agree with, and when something has a hold on your life and you can't live without it, then there comes a time when we need to slow down and self evaluate.
Maybe God is saying...what things in your life, do you think you "need" when in reality, I want you do come to me...to give you peace, and joy and contentment. AH...contentment! We are to be content (or at peace) in all things...and I think more so, what I am realizing is that through all things, we are to be at peace, regardless of our circumstances. Even though things are falling a part all over, where is our peace, and contentment, knowing that God is ultimately in control and good...all the time. If we view him as the perfect Father, that would give us a sense of peace.
Yet, on Day 13, I did not feel at total peace. I have not arrived at that point.
I can say it in my head, but in my heart, not yet! I worry about this bill, that bill, the fact that the car we drive is needing repair, and do we have the extra funds at the moment to fix it...nope! The fact is, this is causing me to seek God, rather than seek Man...and the ways of culture. To ask for Wisdom and understanding and revelation...in regards to finances and budgeting and seeking to walk out of debt.
Some people would say, we have far less debt than others, and yet to us...it is too much, hard to deal with and rather daunting. Maybe it's because we do not make what other people make in terms of salary!! I make far less than others I know, at this age, and yes, this is a decision I made to work in Ministry...to be a full time Missionary. I still make far more than what others make in other countries, and have to remember that the cost of living is different here, than in other areas.
So what do we do? How do we practically do this? We watch every penny...and be cheerful givers. Givers of time, resources and yes, even our $. When I begin to hoard and think...in terms of poverty, I will cut off what God wants to do in blessing others, as well as ourselves.
I have read that while you are getting out of debt, don't tithe or give to charity! For me, I am called to give my first fruits back to God. To be disciplined in that. I am called to even test God in this. I am reminded that my security it not here, rather in my eternal resting place.
I'm trying hard to be a leader here in our home, to take up the courage to press into an area of our life that needs help. Being obedient in all things...especially finances is important and I am realizing this...is an area that we need to work on.
I could blame people...specifically where I have been ripped off financially, which has been part of the problem...but I realize that I need to continually lay that down, because I am also to blame. I need to take responsibility for foolish spending, keeping my head in the sand, rather than take initiative and make some good decisions.
Doing this right now, is good. It is causing us to learn and grow as a couple. To communicate, to share our dreams and hopes for the future. To watch what we do in all areas of our life. To see if anything stands between us and God. Is there anything in our life that we think we need for comfort when in reality, we really don't?
My mind is always on...how do we as a community help others, get on board with debt free living...how do we help each other out...when financial crisis hits? Do we just look at those in need and say "well, if they wouldn't have been so careless, or irresponsible..." Do you get my point? Do we judge rather than help...are we then being just like a Pharisee? Do we always have to wait and make people "learn from their mistakes" or "be more responsible" before we lend a hand or help?
This is beginning to feel bigger than just getting out of debt...bigger than just my wife and I being "more responsible" and it is more about the bigger picture of community, specifically a Christian community, which should be on the cutting edge, rather than sitting back...watching people suffer, it is about social justice, and intervention...and taking stands for the poor, oppressed, sick, orphans, widows, immigrants, prostitutes, homeless...and the list goes on...
So maybe Day 13 isn't as hard as I think it is in my human selfish brain. Maybe Day 13 is about growing up, knowing my place in the world and seeing how I, as a man who says I love God, who says Jesus is my brother, my savior, does life differently, because people are hearing my words, watching how I live...and are looking to see how my words line up to my actions.
Day 14...is actually today...and this words above are penned or typed on Day 14, so lets just say that they are words for yesterday and today.
I have no knew insight for today...other than what is typed above.
My only thought is...keep reading, keep pressing in, keep giving helpful suggestions, but don't let it stop with just suggestions...help someone out today. Give radically...Give cheerfully...Give expecting NOTHING in return...
Peace...
Kenny
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