talking...realistic!!!

So we are talking...trying to be realistic. It is well into the second month, and the first one revealed that we are paying a lot of debt...but are overwhelmed by the interest that we pay...so it is making little impact on the actual debt.

1. We need a miracle
2. We are testing God in this
3. We are looking to God...as our source...rather than man.
4. We believe that community plays a part...but at what cost...we know we are here to play a significant role...specifically to challenge how we view money, lifestyle and debt. How do we actually live it...and how do we actually give?
5. We seek help from others...be it banks, people, anyone to give us advice.
6. It makes me think of what we ask people to do...when we ask them not to sin...and to walk away from specific relationship...how do we provide for them, when they specifically leave relationships with nothing.
7. How do we care...and give...which then comes back to how we choose to live...sometimes over and above our means...or in luxury.
8. That I get disillusioned with the body of Christ...something I have to take up with God.
9. that talking about finances is important...because finances is important.
10. That God will supply our needs according to HIS glorious riches in Christ Jesus.

Some thought today...some good...some thoughts, not so good...or maybe vulnerable and real.

We are talking with someone regarding consolidating...to see if that works for us.
I need to trust God...really, I am testing Him, asking that He show me His character and His promises for us.

If you have time...we'd love for you to pray for us.

Day 29

Questions I ask myself...through this debt reduction are:

1. Why do I give temporary solutions for people, rather than actual help? Why do other people do that...especially Christians?

2. Why do I fear really saying what I mean...especially when it comes to debt reduction and the body of believers?

3. Why am I continually disillusioned by wealthy believers?

4. Why do I not see a difference between "the world" and "the church"?

5. Why do I feel like this will cause people to view me as judgmental...when even Jesus up turned tables?

6. Why don't I pray more? Read the word more?

7. Why do I crave McDonald's? Chips?

8. Why is this so hard?

9. Why is it so easy?

10. Does anyone even hear this, get it, wanna make a difference?


Just 10 questions...in my head...that needed to get out...

and yes...we went to McDonald's yesterday...and no...I don't feel guilty...okay...maybe a little.

Day 26

Well, it's cold again, and that means the ceiling isn't leaking.
I got a chance to practically, shovel off snow, from the roof, to prevent ice daming (which was probably the culprit). We still need to look into work on the basement and the second floor ($$$$).

This weekend, we definitely felt like we were going through consumerism withdrawals. We realize how often we would go out...just to do something. Rather than go out only when we have a need. It was really good in a way. At one point on Saturday, I stood in the living room, itching to shop...and I realized that there was other internal issues that I needed to face. So I did that instead. I chose after to sit and read, and I got a lot done around the house.

Someone I know who recently came into some money, was telling me that they were going to purchase a Wii. Okay...every part of me has wanted a Wii. Something that Paula and I can do together, rather than just watch a movie and it gets us active. I thought about my response to my friend, which probably wasn't all that good. I was envious. I really was. I envied his ability to go out and just purchase something like this. I shared with this person how we would like one, but would probably take a few years. In retrospect...maybe that is a good thing...a very good thing. Paula and I can do things apart from watching a movie...and can get active too. But we can't when it is cold, especially anything outdoors...for the sake of Paula's hands and feet. (She has raynaud's)

The weekend posed some "stresses" that we could easily have wanted to go and impulsively buy...but we refrained. Knowing that we have bills to pay, makes us realize that in order for us to do this...we need to take some steps.

We did find a great international food store (Van Lai on McPhillips), with produce being considerably less costly than Safeway and Superstore...and it is a small business, and we have been 3 times since last year, and we realize we then tend to eat better as a result.

So this weekend was good...it did challenge me...and it caused me to sit...with God, my Father more...which is a good thing.

Day 24

Oh...and I just read the mortgage rates are going down again...

We have a 5 year term...at 5.8%...does anyone know how to get out of the term, or if that is possible? This seems like robbery...especially since we only bought last March. I know that probably there is nothing that we can do...other than switch banks, but then we pay a transfer fee. I think we paid just $1,000 off our principle this past year...which totally bites!

AAAAAHHHHH....that is just....AAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!

Day 24

Today...

I am on edge...noticing that I am hanging on by a thread...and I thank God for that thread, because at least I have a thread...!

I do see and am finding that I have more and more hope...and trust in God.

Psalm 64...hear my voice Oh God, and in my prayer, preserve my life, from fear of the enemy...and hide me from the secret counsel of the wicked...

I pray that over me, my wife, our marriage, our home, our finances, and our voices that speak truth, and grace, mercy and love.

We need a miracle...sent from heaven...open store house...doors open wide...

our ceiling in our dining room began to leak...apparently the previous owner, was a bit dishonest in regards to water issues! Maybe he didn't figure this was a water issue, even though...it involves water.

But, I have practical ways to temporarily fix it...with the help of people who gave great advice...T, B, M...you are awesome...thanks...THANKS...for calming me down, for telling me it would be okay, and that this is something that happens for 1 1/2 story homes.

Still...we'd like to fix it...get it under control sooner than later.

Also, we had a friend over...and really, in my heart...I wanted to have a space for him to live. We have a basement that could be easily converted...with work...and of course expenses of renovating it.

So...we have a lot to pray about...lots...if you have a moment...please pray for us, as we continue to work to be debt free...so we are able...to further the kingdom in ways we cannot do at the moment.

Peace...love...joy!

Day 18

Ah day 18...how do I feel today?

Well...after a good time at Soul...I found myself really thinking about bitterness, and if I have some of that stuff going down. Especially in regards to finances...money...etc.

I need to apologize...

1. To rich people or those who are well off. I often judge them, critique them and watch how and what they spend their money on.
Regardless of how Jesus spoke on wealth and riches...I am not the judge. Its just tiring to keep doing that.

2. To Christian's in general, who I think are being bad examples...and I have to remember...I am no different.

3. To the institution called the "church" for making it all about money sometimes.

I realize that I am no better than anyone. Heck...I have a long way to go...a very long way to go. This financial fast in a sense is causing me some heavy duty emotional and spiritual awakening...and showing me just how I used to cope with finances. "not very well"

This week was a hit hard week...with the gas bill, and the upcoming car bill, and as I was budgeting this week, realized that we needed to pay for our sign class...and so that is another hit. We are realizing that we need to tighten up, more than ever.

Today we did go out and splurge. We got a .75 cent coupon to go see a movie so we did...and yes we bought popcorn...and cried and laughed our way through the movie...Conversation with Bees. A great movie.

So we are doing okay...even with the big bills...that we can't afford to pay, we have to cry out to God...and that is something I need to do first...to bring it all to God in prayer...and pray. I sensed today, from something our pastor said...that just as we are fasting in regards to spending...that I may need to kick it up a notch and fast...and be in prayer way more than I am now. He challenged us with that in terms of how we relate to others, but I believe for every situation in our lives, this is what we need to do...God is...our Father...He does care...and...will take care of us.

So with that...I am off to pray, read and seek the Lord.

Thanks for your prayers...we appreciate them...especially for a much needed financial break through.

DAY 16

MAYBE WE COULD MOVE IN HERE...!!!

Today is day 16.

Yesterday, was a disaster...okay...I shouldn't say disaster...that is a harsh word.

The car needed oil, antifreeze/coolant...and it really needs to get a tune up, but that is low on the list of what we can do at the moment. I thought, okay, after we catch up on funds from Christmas holidays (Paula being off for 2 wees) then we can get the car in.

Today...was this...

Today...finding out Paula's pay is about half of what it is normally. Hmmm...shucks!
Today...getting our gas/hydro bill for $600...okay...CHOKE!!
Today...wondering...when we will get ahead.
Today...needing more faith than yesterday.

Sometimes, it seems the more we try to do the right thing...the more things go wrong.

But we also made some good choices yesterday. I had 2 guys over to watch a movie, which I borrowed from another friend, and instead of going out to buy chips and such, one of the friends brought muffins...and Paula made popcorn on the stove...yes in the pot type variety...and it was AMAZING better than the microwave popcorn, which is terrible for you.
Paula and I make our lunches, and snacks and think before hand about suppers, and we are making healthier choices and keeping the costs low. Even though we keep being invited out, we continue to take a stand and decline, but offering other alternative choices. A few people have invited us to share meals with them, and I still want to make a DVD lending library...instead of spending $ on rentals.

I was listening on the news today, about Government spending and the new budget and they kept saying that it is better that the government not over spend...that it would be best to lower personal taxes...etc...and the discussion went on and on.

Now, I kept wondering to myself...what if the government adopted a policy of Jubilee, and it became a nation wide policy of debt elimination. Regardless of who, all debts would be erased. Everyone would be expected to eliminate all debt after a series of years. I realize this would create havoc...or I believe it would, in terms of financial institutions...how would they survive? Or would it cause them to thrive? Maybe it would cause more people to spend, and more people to buy and increase our economy rather than slow it down. Maybe more people would invest?

I know there are many things to think about in terms of a Jubilee, how it would work, what it would entail.

Wikipedia gives this definition:

The concept of the Jubilee is a special year of remission of sins and universal pardon. In the Biblical book of Leviticus, a Jubilee year is mentioned to occur every fifty years, in which slaves and prisoners would be freed, debts would be forgiven and the mercies of God would be particularly manifest. In Christianity, the tradition dates to 1300, when Pope Boniface VIII convoked a holy year. Christian Jubilees, particularly in the Catholic tradition, generally involve pilgrimage to a sacred site, normally the city of Rome. At various times in Church history, they have been celebrated every 50 or 25 years.

So there is more to a jubilee than just debts forgiven. Interesting points to think about when we meditate on the mercies of God, particularly in our own lives.

So ends day 16..

What I've learned? That I need God. That even in this, I need him, and in my frustration, spend time alone with him. For He alone is my source, my strength and my provision.

I have learned that doing without is good, and it won't kill me or make my life less than. It actually promotes time with others, and fosters community growth.

I have learned that life doesn't have to be about consuming and it is important to watch and be a good steward of all resources...this includes hydro and gas.

I have learned that life is good, even when our finances are not nearly perfect...okay, they are a mess.

We have received a good advice:
1. to pay off the smallest debt first...while making minimum payments on the rest, so that when you pay that debt off, you have a sense of accomplishment. Then go to the next debt.
2. Consolidating debt into your mortgage is not advisable for debt under $25,000.
3. Don't carry c cards or interact cards.
4. be open with people, get advice
5. Continue to give...this week we did some creative giving...it felt good.
6. Love ourselves...don't beat ourselves up for making mistakes, but rather learning from them and trying to do things different.
7. Ask for help when needed...is okay...really! But very, very difficult for us independent types...okay, we don't do that enough.
8. Realize not everyone is at the same place...as us, we just have to do our part, and live how we speak.

This is tough. It is tough at all levels...but oh, so, good!

Kenny